Tiger Parenting? Western Parenting? Conscious Parenting...
- In the US, an unbelievable 18.8 million adults suffer from depression and more than 40 million Americans suffer from anxiety.
- Obesity has reached an epidemic state. There are over 58 million overweight people in America.
- Alcohol has become the no.1 drug problem and in the US, a person is killed in an alcohol-related car accident every 30 minutes.
- Shocking as it might sound, one suicide occurs every 17 minutes and there are approximately 750,000 suicide attempts each year.
- Fear of public speaking is the #1 fear in the country.
We face an epidemic of everyday problems such as anxiety, feelings of inadequacy, worrying about what others think, and fear of conflict.
Could it be that our parenting is failing our children in some way? Could the pressure we put on our children be leading to both under-achieving and driven over-achieving? Do we want our kids to feel that their worth and value is a function of their achievements, so that they are only proud of themselves or able to experience happiness when they achieve? Or perhaps we’re being too permissive and not helping our kids achieve excellence?
So, where are we as parents supposed to draw the line?
At the end of the day, how do we as parents teach our kids the values we feel are important and still get them to brush their teeth or clean their room?
The Conscious Parenting I propose is neither strict nor permissive. It’s a entirely new way to parent.
How Do I Get My Child to Listen to Me?
That is the woe of every well-intentioned parent. I just want my child to listen to me! It is, after all, for their own good, right?
The thing is however, sometimes, if we’re not careful our efforts as parents to get our children to listen to us can be more damaging than we imagine.
Let me first introduce myself before I explain more.
Hi, I’m Shelly Lefkoe and what I’ve discovered after working with thousands of people worldwide is that negative beliefs (mostly subconscious) about ourselves and life underlie virtually every one of the common problems we complain of, such as anxiety, oworrying about what other think of us, procrastination, stress, lack of confidence, relationships problems, and anger. These and most other issues in our lives are cause by beliefs like:
- I’m not good enough
- I’ll never get what I want in life
- I’m not worthy
- I’m not important
- Relationships are difficult
- I’m powerless
I help top executives, professional men and women, hourly workers, frustrated moms—in fact people from virtually every walk of life and in over 50 countries around the world—deal with an incredible array of day-to-day problems such as those listed above.
And what I’ve discovered after working with thousands of people is that the negative beliefs that cause their everyday problems were usually formed in childhood as a result of interactions with parents.
I listen day after day to heart-breaking tales of my clients describing their childhoods, when they were criticized, not heard, invalidated, yelled at, not allowed to make decisions affecting them, and ignored.
I'm sure this is not how you want to treat your children. And I'm equally certain that many times you just don’t realize how your behavior is leading your children to form negative beliefs about themself and life.
Not because we are bad parents, but because 9 out of 10 parents have never learned how their daily comments and actions are deeply affecting their children, every day, in the most simple interactions.
It’s Not About “Tiger Parenting” or “Western Parenting”... It’s About “Conscious Parenting”
At what cost?
“Tiger Parenting” doesn’t work because the cost of getting your child to play at Carnegie Hall doing it the way Amy Chua advocates is forming beliefs along the way that can ruin their lives. I’ve worked with kids who are straight A students or concert pianists who are miserable because they only feel worthy when they are achieving. They can never rest or stop. I’ve helped thousands of successful adults as well, who have shredded self-esteem despite great success in life.
Think about it. These are our children. We brought them into the world. So let’s not shy away from the fact that we are responsible for their emotional, physical, spiritual, intellectual development. The onus is on us as parents. This is not an easy job.
WE NEED HELP to understand how our actions and words will affect our children’s beliefs.
Unfortunately, in today’s busy lives and nuclear families, very few parents have the proper training they need to execute the kind of conscious parenting that focuses on helping children form positive beliefs.
Why do I place emphasis on beliefs when it comes to conscious parenting?
Beliefs Are The Most Basic Aspect Of Human Life And Interaction, Yet They Are Rarely Understood As The Root Source Of Problems In Our Personal, Professional And Parenting Lives.
I know this for a fact. During my 20+ years of experience, I’ve seen how the beliefs people have about themselves, life and parenting, powerfully dictate their feelings, emotions and behavior. And these beliefs in turn powerfully affect their children.
And what is even more surprising is that many of these adult clients didn’t have especially painful childhoods. The source of most of the negative beliefs was seemingly innocent parenting behavior, most of which could have been avoided, if their parents had only known better.
This experience inspired me to go on a crusade to teach parents how to avoid doing and saying things that would lead their children to form damaging beliefs, so their children could grow up feeling confident, happy and free.
I realized that parents need to know not just what to do, but also why. They needed to really understand how beliefs impacted their children later in life so they would have lasting motivation to change.
I Knew There Just Had to Be A Way to Raise Talented, Successful & Happy Kids, Without the Nagging, Scolding, Screaming and Arguing That Can Negatively Affect Your Children’s Beliefs.
Before we move forward, let me ask you few simple questions...
- Do you want your children to be happy, confident and successful?
- Do you sometimes feel that only if you had the right training and guidance then maybe you could be a better parent?
- Do you sometimes wish you understood your son/daughter a little better?
- Do you want to have loving and lasting relationship with your children?
What if I were to tell you that stress free, joyful parenting is within your grasp—that it will take less than 60 minutes a week to change the course of your child’s life. Would you be interested?
If the answer to any or all the questions is, yes, then congratulations! We both have a common mission: for you to be the best possible parent that you could be and for your children to have a great life, and for me to support you and other parents with the same commitment to reach that goal.
It is with these goals in mind that I have dedicated my life to becoming a conscious parent and helping others become conscious parents too. Thank you for reading my blogs, I love feedback to let me know what you think!