Parenting has been the greatest challenge of my life and my greatest joy.
I was incredibly blessed to come from a very loving family, albeit not perfect. My mother was my first guru and mentor. She was one of the wisest, most loving human beings. My dad, who loved me with his heart and soul. I owe so much of who I am today to them.
In 1979 on a friend’s advice I took a seminar about transformation. I had no idea what I was about to encounter. I was in a room with 250 people for two weekends where I discovered for the first time how much pain people are in. Despite money, fame, beauty and success they were basically unhappy. Their relationships didn’t work. Many of them had feelings of insecurity and low self-esteem. I was amazed.
I met my husband, Morty, who was a seminar leader with that organization. He was a business consultant who was on a spiritual/intellectual journey trying to discover why people and businesses knew what to do and yet didn’t do it. Things like getting exercise, eating right, not yelling at their kids, wearing seat belts, etc.
Shortly after we got married in 1981 he created a process that helps people to eliminate the limiting beliefs that are responsible for what is not working in their lives, thus allowing them to experience the freedom, joy, success, and healthy relationships that they so long for.
The first time I saw him work with someone using this process, which is now known worldwide as the Lefkoe Belief Process, I watched with tears streaming down my face. I knew in the deepest part of my being that this was what I came to the planet to do. That was the first step of my journey.
Along The Way I Had Some Amazing Teachers, Most Importantly, My 2 Daughters, Blake and Brittany. I Must Say They Were My Greatest Teachers.
My husband was my life partner. His brilliance, integrity and commitment to peoples’ lives, along with the amazing process he created, has contributed and continues to contribute to my life today.
Werner Erhard, the creator of the EST training, taught me about context, transformation, and commitment. He taught me that I can and do make a difference—that I have it in me to help to transform the world. And for that I am forever grateful.
Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish, along with the amazing work of Hiam Ginot, introduced me to the world of parenting skills and tools.
What I Find Fascinating About My Work Is How People’s Beliefs About Themselves, Life And Parenting Determine Their Behavior, Feelings And Emotions, And How Powerfully These Beliefs Grip People’s Lives.
After working with people one-on-one to help them get rid of the beliefs that cause their feelings of inadequacy, depression, eating disorders, that keep them in unhealthy relationships or unable to create healthy ones, workaholism, the inability to speak up for themselves, always putting others before themselves and not being able to accumulate wealth or success—it became apparent to me very quickly that all of these problems are a function of their beliefs and most of their beliefs came from the way they were parented.
I learned how people who abuse their children, abandon them, or ignore them do so as a function of their own beliefs. These beliefs can be eradicated and when they are, the detrimental parenting behavior stops! People are not bad, selfish, uncaring, or stupid; they are just acting consistently with their beliefs.
What fascinates me is:
- How wonderful people really are.
- How many people’s lives are run by worrying about what other people think of them.
- How almost everyone has the belief, I’m not good enough.
- How easy it is to free incest survivors and rape victims from their pain and suffering.
- How the meaning we give events causes all of our upsets.
- How powerfully our behaviors, words and deeds affect our children.
- How important unconditional love is.
I knew when I began working with people 20 years ago and I am just as sure today that my mission in life is to help stop the pain and suffering in the world, specifically …
To have parents be aware that their words, actions and expressions have a profound affect on their children’s beliefs, which will ultimately impact their children’s lives. Also, to show parents how to help their children create positive beliefs about themselves and life.
When I ask my clients each week what is different in their lives after our last session, many of them begin by saying, “I am parenting totally differently.” The ones with young children are so grateful and the ones with older children are sad that they hadn’t found our work sooner. As soon as they get the correlation between their parenting behavior and their children’s beliefs and actions, there is an immediate shift.
The Legacy I’d Like To Leave Is To Make A Difference In How People Parent, Resulting In Children Growing Up Free To Be Joyful, Contributing Members Of Society.
I believe that if parents parent consciously, (in other words, if they are conscious and aware of what comes out of their mouths and the impact that their behavior has on their children) the world will work. We can stop the chain of dysfunction from trickling down to yet another generation. We can teach kindness and patience, dignity and respect. We can, together, make the world a better placer to live.
I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for coming to my site. For taking time out of your day to learn about me and the Lefkoe Way. I believe with all of my heart and soul that if you stop for a moment and become conscious of how your parenting is affecting your child, to take the time to study parenting and work on your own beliefs, you child will be better off, as will the world.
With deep and profound respect.
Warmly,
Shelly